closer still...

many things humming now, balls up in the air, train running on the tracks. Hospital location confirmed for shooting next saturday. at first they were going to allow only a 1/2 day of shooting, apparently to offset their generosity at lowering the fee so much but for whatever reason - after i sent the draft of a location agreement to them, praying that they had forgotten about the million dollar insurance policy they wanted me to take out - they said 'we're all set'. perfect. doing a walk thru later this wk w/ hospital facility contact and DP and some things - start time, staging areas etc - will firm up then.

had rehearsal yesterday at house. actually DP came 1st at 11 am. went over storyboards, discussed possible ways to shoot certain things, camera mounts, wide-angle lens for very tight space that has slight distortion around edge of frame etc. we're on the same page on pretty much everything. he allowed that if he has a flaw it's his propensity to take a long time during lighting. i don't think that's an unusual trait among dp's.

2 cast, man and wife characters, arrived an hr later. we went thru script beat by beat and ran a few scenes. i have played this script in my head hundreds of times and am keenly attuned to any variance, for better or worse. hence when they have an idea about how to play something, which may be a perfectly valid instinctual approach, i have to find a way to show them what i'm thinking w/o doing line readings. it can be a challenge, even w/ great actors, but it certainly lays at my feet. further, i'm forced to consider whether my reaction is against what's best for the film or what's in my head. What's in my head is, by now, an empty construct. A blueprint at best. So, I have to allow for actors to find something i hadn't thought of, which may actually improve or better what I thought would happen. further, there will be on set rehearsals, in character, w/ actions most times, which will again, change the shape of the original.

An hr later the Dr character showed. The 4 of us sat around the table and repeated the same process: going thru the scene - the big 5 minute in a room scene - beat by beat, then reading thru. Same thing happened. I had to find ways to explain certain beats and what i was going for w/o line reading. I fear I got sidetracked in clouds of abstraction and may have at times, done the line reading, albeit in a conversational way. that's on me. in any case, we got through it. ran it a few more times
and by the last time it was humming. the actors 'get' it. as does the dp. very excited to shoot now.

funny, an hr before day started i was nervous about it. nothing really to be nervous about but i couldn't wait until it was over. i kept putting my mind toward later in the day when we could watch a movie or go to dinner or anything but rehearse. at some point a strand of thought floated in, if i was meant to direct i would not think this way, i'd be excited to rehearse. Thinking like that, aside from being common to me, can quickly metastasize, threatening to undermine everything as it doubles, triples in size. it's another way for the mind to diminish your own undertakings. During the rehearsals i was able to silence that voice and by 4 pm i was humming and buzzing w/ excitement about the shoot, so much so that i couldn't concentrate while i tried to watch a movie. that earlier strand had all but dissolved. remember this for the next one.

tight space

holy crap. just dawned on me this afternoon that 5 straight min of the movie are in a teeny tiny hospital exam room. 3 actors. plus camera and boom and director. i am suddenly nervous as shit about how to pull this off. going to split the scene into three segments, for narrative sake and for shooting sake, but then need to determine what will distinguish - if anything - shooting approach from one segment to the next. it's a chess match between patients and doctor. triangle. doctor at apex, patients at base - but if we shoot that direction, there is very little to do, very few places for camera to go. consider keeping camera on patient who has little dialogue while doctor and other patient run down a list of informations. what does that get me?

closer

Things tightening. Shooting in less than 2 wks. rehearsing w/ dp and actors this wknd. yesterday i sat down to start storyboarding and immediately hit a snag in my visualization of the opening and started rewriting script. minor changes but it was necessary for me to see it first. i filled the last two speaking roles but i still need to find a couple w/ a newborn willing to let me film them. if you know someone be sure to let me know. still need to get a couple wardrobe items, plan craft service and transport to hospital location. the final shot of the movie is a couple stepping in to an elevator while said couple w/ newborn exit. i know the exact elevator i want and have been toying w/ the idea of merely stealing the shot but this am i called the facility and am now waiting for them to give me a ruling.

bulk of movie features couple talking w/ doctor in exam room. i'm trying something slightly risky in that i'm going to rehearse them separately. that is, i'm rehearsing couple w/ a reader filling in for doc, and rehearsing doc w/ a reader filling in for couple. this is more than a scheduling snarl, well it started as one, but it fits the movie, since the whole scene is a power trip, a chess match between doc and patient, w/ doc having upper hand, that it seems appropriate (if risky) to have them meet for the first time on set. I'm going to tell them to run the scene w/o stopping even if they screw up their lines, and the dp will try and get what he gets. if it - or any part of it works - then it'll really work, at least in theory. it could be an epic disaster but that's on me i guess. the actors are all great. they can handle it.

storyboarding and working w/ sag to get waiver for one sag performer. fortunately they have a low-budget option, unfortunately it's supposed to be in to them 3 wks before production starts. I sent it in anyway, waiting to hear. also, need to get pix developed, matted, framed to hang on wall in couple's house. go, go, go.

photo shoot

had actors over on sunday to take still photos. these will be seen in the opening shots, establishing where they live, who they are. the main focus will be a wedding-day shot of the two, a happy shiny time immediately contrasted by the scenario as the movie begins: a couple running late, a man yelling profanely up that stairs at his wife. The weather was slightly uncooperative, the morning filled w/ icy roads that for a time threatened to prevent the entire thing before it began. but it all worked out. actors and photographer showed on time and we were off.

1st shot, couple in front of xmas tree w/ their dog. we were aided by lennie briscoe who agreed to lend his likeness provided we dealt w/ his bs. 2nd shot, the couple hiking in the woods w/ backpacks, smiling and giving thumbs-up. this we shot in the backyard, cheating the tall trees for a forest w/ a well-selected camera angle. 3rd shot, wedding day. this necessitated costume changes, beard shaving, caravan to mt. tabor park. Instead of driving to the top of the park as planned, the gates were shut, no doubt due to the earlier ice. So 6 of us trudged all the way up winding paths to the top of the park. Once there, cold rain started to fall. Actors were positioned against a tree, giving best happy day smiles, a bouquet, a white dress. A passer-by leaned in and wished sincere congratulations to the happy couple.

we got the shots

questions, decisions

saw friend's clinic today. it's workable. it's do-able w/ some slight re-imaginings of what's in my head. but it begs the question: just b/c it's workable does it mean it's correct? so, i'm right where i started: no closer to nailing location. at the same time i'm beginning to feel a sort of layer forming, a hardening of how i'm going to direct this, which in case that sounds totally fucking abstract, is a very good thing. i'm starting to see it. as i've alleged before, the hospital ($) location alone will elevate this film from amateur-land. not that that's everything - after all there's still acting, shooting, cutting to contend with - but i'm oh so eager to extract myself from the student-film pitch i feel like my mail gets delivered to.

along those lines, i emailed a close tie this week and asked to borrow 2 grand. She said no but was willing to match 1/2 of it if I could raise the rest. to my thinking that was a nice gesture on her part but one that would bear no fruit. when i mentioned it to my wife, she jumped on me for being a dim-sighted buffoon. all i have to do is raise a grand somehow, my wife claims, and i'm home free. but how?. herein finds me still sticking to the shadows and keeping my back against the wall and the comfort of sure footing instead of manning up and walking into the darkness. There's a vulnerability that i'm attempting to avoid which is a stumbling block preventing me from avoiding achieving what i need to do. it's a conundrum alright.

slow gatherings of steam

Bit by bit this thing is gathering form and motion, willing itself from the void, up out of the muck. I continue to be the default and at times unwilling producer. After waiting wks for the media director of a local hospital to finally touch base w/ me (I was out of town, then her, then it was Thanksgiving) she called me at the day job to inform me they just didn't do things like that. "I could lose my job" I was told. When I told her another hospital already said yes but it cost too much for our budget she was shocked, stupefied. I think there must have been a profound misunderstanding or something but that's where we left it.

At about the same time I touched base w/ friend who has small medical practice to see if i could film in his clinic and he said yes. I haven't seen the location yet but in the back of my head i heard a voice urging me to go w/ the first one. the hospital. the thousand dollar fee, million dollar insurance one for my short film budget of zero. it's perfect for the movie and out of my grasp. unless of course i have a rich and willing relative step out of the shadows.

meantime, doing a photo shoot this wknd for a couple still photos that hang in the house of a youngish married couple. So that will feel like motion, like a push, and shove.

decision

Starting to feel like the constant weighing on this-or-that film is a bit of an interference so i'm going to stop doing that here. I'll just save this blog for the ins/outs and errata of pre and post-production of my own stuff and everything in between. from time to time i'll still put up ramblings and natterings about films and cinema
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